Sharing Emotions

Feeling completely known, safe and accepted in your vulnerability brings euphoria to human beings, because we were designed for intimacy and freedom. ~Danny Silk (founder, Loving On Purpose)

Guidelines

1. Listeners
   • Do not offer advice
   • Do not try to fix anything
   • Be present
     • "I hear you"
     • "Thanks for sharing"
2. Sharers
   • Share emotions, not judgements
     • Avoid words like "good" or "bad" or those listed below the feelings wheel
     • Attempt getting down from the reaction emotions to a tender emotion, if you can.

The Tender Emotions

• Sad
• Afraid
• Lonely

Question/Answer

1. What if I can not think of any emotions or if I can not get to a tender emotion?
   • Trying builds your emotional intelligence muscle. Good job for trying! You will improve.
2. What if my partner shares something that surprises or triggers me and I do not know what to do?
   • Your job is extremely simple, just be present. You may say phrases like, “I hear you,” or “thanks for sharing.” Nothing more is needed.
3. What would keep me from doing this in the future?
   • You must answer this question. If your goal in the relationship is to connect, you must answer this question, then make a plan to protect your connection.

Handout

This contains the above guidelines plus a tool depicting emotions around a wheel, they are grouped by category to help put words to your thoughts. Click the image below.